And girl,

May. 3rd, 2017 03:26 pm
kikimay: (Buffy and Willow)
Here's my ranking scale for BtVS/AtS!

In case anyone is interested, here's the link to do your own listing:

Buffy, Willow and Anya are in my podium. Surprising, right? Apparently, I prefer Angel to Spike (lol), but it's true that I care about them at times. BtVS characters >>>>> AtS characters, which is accurate. Man, I did like the potential about Maggie Walsh. I'm a bad person.

Rank Name
1 Buffy Summers
2 Willow Rosenberg
3 Anya Jenkins
4 Illyria
5 Buffybot
6 Angel
7 Daniel 'Oz' Osbourne
7 Spike
7 Dawn Summers
7 Glory
11 Cordelia Chase
12 Faith Lehane
12 Mr. Trick
12 Wesley Wyndham-Pryce
15 Drusilla
15 Halfrek
17 Angelus
17 Jasmine
19 Dr. Walsh
20 Harmony Kendall
21 The Mayor
22 Rupert Giles
23 Jonathan Levinson
24 D'Hoffryn
25 Lilah Morgan
25 Lindsey McDonald
27 Kendra
27 Eve
29 Charles Gunn
30 Robin Wood
31 Gwen Raiden
31 Anne Steele
33 Nina Ash
34 Joyce Summers
35 The Groosalugg
36 Darla
37 Ethan Rayne
38 Tara Maclay
39 Kennedy
39 Adam
41 Jenny Calendar
42 Xander Harris
42 The Master
42 Allen Francis Doyle
42 Caleb
42 Amy Madison
42 Marcus Hamilton
48 Andrew Wells
48 Knox
48 Lorne
51 Clem
51 Merle
53 Winifred 'Fred' Burkle
53 Riley Finn
55 Ben
55 Gavin Park
55 Linwood Murrow
58 The First
58 Knox
58 Connor
61 Warren Mears
61 Daniel Holtz
61 Holland Manners

MOAR on the episodes )
kikimay: (Buffy's smile)
Guys, what the hell?

LJ sends me emails in which there's nothing written or a link to my own posts. What's that? I haven't clicked on any link, just to be on the safe side of things, and the empty emails are empty. But I don't understand. I wonder if this is also happening to any of you. (I think there's a mistake, and LJ does it everytime it should point me out to a message that mention my name)

Whatever, I suppose.

Here for the last "hair ranking" post and guess who's the lady chosen to complete this Hair Evolution Shenanigans?? *drum rolls* CORDELIA CHASE *_____* A girl who changed her hair A LOT, much like Anya and Buffy. It's not technicallyall BtVS, but BtVS looks are also ranked. I take this thingy very seriously. I really like hair.

Huh - huh, Queen C's hair porn )
kikimay: (Loki)
Hi guys! Here's the newest ficlet for the prompt challenge.

As always, I comments and suggestions are really appreciated. I hope that [ profile] endeni will like her gift (and I'm waiting for the fanart, yeeeeaah X3) (I'm kidding, don't feel pressured to do it!)

Many thanks to my precious beta [ profile] carlyinrome who fixes my mistakes. You can find the complete list of prompts RIGHT HERE

Girls Never Stop Playing Dressing Up )
kikimay: (How do you like my darkness now?)
Hi guys, I just wrote another prompt.

This time I picked the one sent me on Tumblr which is originally "post NFA Buffy wonders about Spike and Angel's relationship" and I ended up trying to explore Buffy's relationship with both vampires and her feelings after she finds them alive. So expect some Buffy/Angel and Buffy/Spike interaction. I really hope you like it.

Many thanks to [ profile] carlyinrome for her precious help as beta. (I'll work on your requests soon!)

After the Fall )
kikimay: (The hardest thing in the world)
Hi guys!

Today I went to see the kids' concert before the school is over, because my godchild was playing. It was exhausting XD We were in a very small auditorium filled with parents, but the kids were so cute and she was very precise. Adorable. While I was waiting for the concert to start I wrote this thing.

Another prompt featuring Dru, because it just seems to be easier to write about her, but I'm working on the other prompts too, don't worry. (Actually this is mostly Angel than Dru, but anyway) I really hope you like the result.

Many thanks to my beta [ profile] carlyinrome who corrected the first draft and the second in something like 5 minutes.

Drusilla and shanshued!Angel for [ profile] rbfvid

Beautiful Butterflies )
kikimay: (Sad bored dry. Your crippled Venus)
Everybody is asleep and I'm super awake, which means POLL TIME! *CCC*

It's actually my first poll ever and I don't know if I did it properly because I don't have a plus account. Bear with me.

I would like to ask you about Angel. I love this character so much. I actually have a complicated relationship with him because I love him and I wish I didn't it, but I find him endlessly fascinating and DB has soulful labrador eyes.

The canon isn't very consistent with his dichotomy and I'm very curious to know what you guys think about that.

Take this poll about Angel/us and keep me company, for the night is dark and full of terrors!

Can everybody notice how curious I am? )
kikimay: (Saunders. Broken doll)
Hi guys!

I'm currently kinda sucked in True Detective fanfics reading. Tbh I shipped Rust/Maggie so much but there are so many Rust/Marty out there and they are lovely and I think I'm going into the old white men hell because I'm starting to ship it a bit ...

Talking about white men hell here's the new chapter of the Spangel fic. Really hope you like where this thing is going.

3 )
kikimay: (Saunders. Broken doll)
Oh hi!

Here's the second chapter of the Spangel fic. I think I'm going to go on with the original idea, let me know if it's interesting or not. I really need to ship these two bastards together so the story will be centered around them. It's a love story.

Thanks to my beta:

2. )
kikimay: (Saunders. Broken doll)
Guys, hi! How are you?

Big stuff happened in the comics and I'm happy about it. I'll probably do a whole post on that, if I'll come up with something remotely interesting to say. But, you know, aaaaawww, OTP. <3

I'm still suffering from a fucked up sleeping pattern and I don't expect to sleep at all tonight, so if you want to keep me company you're welcome here.

And I did it. I wrote the first chapter of the apocalyptic Spangel fic. I hope it's interesting. It's supposed to be a very simple fic with 5 chapters top, but it could be read as a one-shot too, I guess. It's all about Spike and Angel and their relationship. Post NFA.

It will be very angst, so you're warned, and a little bit dark. (And maybe it's not the right time to post something Spangel? But whatever. Can't sleep)

Many thanks to who helped me once again.

I stole the title from that National's song, because I don't have imagination.

If you want doomed/established Spangel click on the cut and let me know if this thing deserves another chapter.

Forever After Days )
kikimay: (Wants to see Spangel. With oil.)
Hi! How are you? Hope you're enjoying the last days of this year.

I'm eating chocolate cake, relaxing and I'm still rewatching Angel the Series.

As always the rewatch is very messy. I really can't follow the right order, I like to jump from point to point and see the episode I like to see. I'm a chaotic watcher and also I already know this show so I don't really need to follow the right order. I've watched so many S4 episodes just to enjoy evil!Cordy's evil!schemes and the general dark massacre that the Beast gently brought to us. Also Jasmine. I LOVE Jasmine's arc and that's actually my favorite when it comes to Fred. She displays bravery and intelligence before everything gets back in the men's hands. And Jasmine is the most intriguing Big Bad.

But - messy rewatcher - I jumped into S5 and, since 5x01 wasn't avaible on streaming, I rewatched Just Rewards.

Here's some bullet points:

- Angel's very petty when Spike is involved.

- And Spike does his best to annoy Angel to death

- They actually have a very similar relationship to Buffy and Spike during S4. Angel's annoyed as much as Buffy in S4 and S5.

- I'm actually not 100% sure about Gunn wanting to be the super-layer. I never questioned his choice before - it's true that he needs to feel useful and active part of the team - but Gunn is also a very good man with a strong sense of right and wrong. Still he does look good in a suit.

- I love Harmony. She's adorable. And Spike never felt the need to apologize for his dickish behavior even with a soul, Christos Gage. He has a soul, he's not a saint.

- Fred looks so HOT. I like her new hairstyle and the Wolfram and Hart fashion choices are kickass.

And these are my very deep considerations for now.

I'd like to also pimp a beautiful video. I just discovered it thanks to Restfield on tumblr:

Scarlett Ribbons. It's about the slayers and it's very poignant. I think some of you will appreciate it a lot ([ profile] red_satin_doll do you like it?) certainly I did.
kikimay: (If the apocalypse comes beep me)

Hi guys, how are you doing?

Hope you're all having a quiet (or frenzy, if you prefer) joyful Christmas and I hope you're all happy and safe. I'm enjoying the quiet, to be honest, and my family.

Fannish things I want to talk about:

- I saw Guardians of Galaxy. Very cute. I still prefer Thor though, I found it more funny and maybe I'm more invested in the characters, but I loved Peter Quill and the other guardians. I loved the soundtrack so much! And Gamora. I LOVE Gamora. She's so badass and yet caring and very reasonable and very beautiful. Gamora <3 <3 <3

- I wrote a new chapter of Dreams and Mirrors and I'm waiting for the beta (-ing). Still very excited about this fic and about writing again, mostly. It does have very few hits compared to the Thorki one. Thorki is very popular right now and still I don't have anything interesting to add, on the Buffyverse instead ... it's still so incredibly fascinating for me.

- Because of [ profile] ever_neutral's post about WTF storylines I'm rewatching S4 of AtS. And I love it, tbh. It's a terrible season for a Cordy fan but there is a giant hell beast, some mystery, rain of fire and apocalypse, zombies, Jasmine. I MEAN. So awesome. I enjoy it too much. I'm rewatching from episode 5, I think, because I suck at watching the things in the right order and I'm enjoying it. Maybe I'll watch again all AtS, if I have time.

Things I think about S4:


* Poor Charisma Carpenter.

* I'm still curious to know what Whedon had in mind originally. It would have been more interesting to see Cordelia - the real Cordy - going dark and I think it would have been connected with hubris, because S4 seems a Greek tragedy in some ways and Cordelia touched amazing power.

* The love triangle Wes/Gunn/Fred is meh as I remembered. Fred leaves me indifferent, mostly. It's strange because I should relate with her the most since we are so similar, but I don't. I care more about Cordy.

* The rain of fire is awesome. More of that.

* The Beast is such a fun villain.

* Angel handles things poorly, but he tries.

*Father and son in love with the same woman is disturbing. And the most disturbing thing is seeing a father having some kind of vibes for his son, but I guess I understand more the Angel/Connor incest thing because seriously these guys are fucked up, they love each others and there's an insane amound of rivarly involved.

* I would like to touch Angel's arms, just to know how it feels. And Cordy's boobs. And Amy Acker even if she's got hotter with age.

kikimay: (The hardest thing in the world)
My laptop is doing strange noises again, as I very very recently said.

Meanwhile I took the afternoon off and out of pure fangirl euphoria I made my second Buffyverse video. It's called Bad Habit, like the Dresden Dolls' song I used to make it. It's about self-harm and violence against yourself.

Note: I wanted to use different bits for Cordelia, like that scene in which she saw the scar on her back or another in which she took some painkillers, but I only have few Angel episodes and it's boring to wait to make things. I like to do them in the heat of the moment, so I used some other scenes. I hope that they work anyway.

And that's it. I hope you all like it. It's my second attempt. This time it was a little bit more difficult because the music was different, faster, and I had to keep up. But it was also fun.

I also have to thank [ profile] red_satin_doll for her encouragement and just her constant support. Just yesterday we were talking about these ideas for new fanvids.

So here it is. Warning: self-harm and violence.

EDIT: The technology must hate me. Here the address of the video:

And now I can return to feel guilty for not studying.
kikimay: (Claire. Just built that way)

Okay, here's the Angel ficlet translated.
Many thanks to [ profile] kwritten  for being my beta. Without her I couldn't do the translation.

I wrote this ficlet a couple of years ago -  or maybe more. It was 2009 if I remember correctly. This is an AU fanfic in which Angel, Spike and all the characters are human. For some reasons I had to write this story and I had to create my first original character to pair with Angel. And the funny stuff it's that I've read before AU fanfics with a female OC paired with Angel and they are generally romantic/erotic fanfics in which the OC is Angel's lover, wife or fiancee. I chose to create his daughter instead and to try to explore a complicated relationship with such a charismatic and unique father.
Also May is based on me (First OC, sorry!) and strangely I cut my hair very short after few months. Freudian much? I think so.

So yes: all the characters belong to Joss Whedon, the Mutant Enemy and whatever except  for May. She's mine. And I didn't write for money but just because I needed to express something.

Always darkest  )
kikimay: (Passing time)
Here some funny and time-consuming tests about AtS and BtVS:

Basically you need to remember all episodes. I managed to wrote down all the titles of BtVS at the third take, while with Angel I'm worse; I remember mostly Season Five titles (It's my favourite Season) and S1 and S4, while I go totally blank with S2 titles. Luckily one of them is Darla, so it's easy to write and to remember. XD
kikimay: (Buffy blue)

I've changed my background. Do you like it? I think it's pretty. Pity that doesn't show the red line but I like it anyway.
And I read the latest Angel&Faith issue. Here my spoilery considerations:

Kinda "meh" )
kikimay: (Dubious Buffybot)

There's a nice topic in Slay Alive, which basically starts with way and ask this particular question.
Okay, everybody here knows that I'm a Buffy-girl. I didn't fell in love with her immediately, when I was younger (I watched my first BtVS episode when I was fourteen) but now she's the female character I love the most. I adore her. <3
And, whatever, I just realized two things among the others - and, you know, I think that this is the greatest BtVS' streight, rewatching the episodes you change your point of view and see other things. At least, that's what happens to me.

1) I can't bare Riley's man-pain big drama in Season Five.
You know, I actually think that Riley becomes more interesting as character in S5, because he faces this life crysis and he feels alone and without a mission in this world. But. I don't like his scenes in the first half of S5. And I ADORE S5. Really, it's maybe my favourite Season because it's the right combo between drama and light moments. Because Buffy has the greatest hair ever and she's generally so strong and brave, even when she faces something horrible and terrifying like her mother illness. Because we have a right amound of Spike (We should always have the right amound of Spike! Spike is pretty and interesting.) And we have all the gang and Anya is her amazing self. In two words: LOVE S5.
But, you know, S5 is also incredibly dramatic, especially in the second half. And as much as I love sad moments on Buffy, I also love happy moments. I think that S4 is underrated and I like to see the characters happy and satisfied with their lives. S5 takes a really dramatic road after the death of Joyce and the first half is supposed to be more funny, but we have to watch Riley big man-pain and, oh God! I love you so much, Buffy, but your an indipendent woman and I'm so teutonic and my little ego is so wounded
I would love to simply enjoy the light moments as, for example, Buffy fighting with Dracula (I think he was cool) and Xander facing his other half and all the funny things is the first episodes, but I have to watch the jealousy and the drama.
Fuck you, Riley Finn. I don't think you're a bad person and broken heart is painful, but really? My first happy half! You're ruining it!
Also, I like my girl to be without a boyfriend. She doesn't need a man to make her complete. So you can go. Really.

2) The "Angel is a more mature show than Buffy".
Seriously? Are you kiddin' me? And, I don't want to be disrespectful of any Angel's fans. I also like the show and I think it's great almost as BtVS (I prefer BtVS, but AtS is nice) But, really, I've heard this thing over and over in some Italians forum and I'm like: huh?!
Why, exactly, AtS is more mature? Just because the first three seasons of BtVS are in high-school?
I think that BtVS is an amazingly mature show. It deals with adolescence (Something everyone faces) and consequences. Pain and courage. Right and wrong. I think that BtVS really is about the journey of life and the self-discovery and we don't stop to just learn because we are in our 30 or 40. Life is a continue challange. The hardest thing in this world is to living in it That's really, really wise.
And, also, really, when exactly Angel is more mature and realistic than Buffy?
Angel treats depression and sense of guilt like something romantic. Living a century eating rat. This is cute and totally unrealistic and doesn't tell anything about what it is to suffer from depression or any other mental illness. You just can't go away and spend your eternal life waiting for a guy to show you a girl. In fact, you don't have an eternal life.
Angel is a romantic character. He isn't supposed to be realistic or truly understandable. (How can anyone here can understand a thousand year old demon with the habit of blood and the dark past?) I mean, it's exaggerated, of course, everyone can understand pain and loneliness and dark impulses. But I don't think that anyone can really know what it is to be like Angel. He's not human and his pain is romanticized.
For Buffy is really different. Buffy is the slayer but she's a girl. And she has a very specific characterization, very human, and she faces abandonement issues and problems with the bills and depression as it really happens. There's nothing romanticized about S6. It's one of the most adult and realistic things I've ever seen, even if there are demons and witches.
So, I really like AtS and respect the fans, but just stop with this thing

kikimay: (Buffy's glare)

The vampires in Buffyverse are an expression of fears and doubts. Whedon wanted to make adolescence problems almost real, physical and give the hero a chance to fight and destroy them. (I'm expressing this concept in a horrid way. My apologies.) But basically, BtVS wasn't a tale of vampires like, for example, Anne Rice's books. BtVS was a tale about growing up and dealing with school and college and, later, job. And, yes, there are incredibly interesting vampire characters (Like Spike or Darla or Angel), but for most of the time the vampires aren't the important part of the story. Vampires are a tool to express a concept = growing up is hard and you must be prepared to fight against your insicurieties and doubts.
And actually we see a main character in her vampire!version, Willow Rosemberg. Her vampire copy is, maybe, an expression of her sexual desires and her crave for power. Vamp!Willow is "kinda gay" and very sadistic. 
That's because the main problems of young Rosemberg were sexuality and power, right?
And here's my big question: do you think that, giving the chance to vamp a later (say Season Seven) Willow, the vampire-self would be similar to S3 vamp!Willow? Or it would change?
The vampire-self is connected to the individual (and that's a classic question) but, what I want to know is: giving the time and the changes in the living person the vampire-self can be different?
For example= major issues of young Rosemberg are sexuality and power; the result is S3 vampire dopplegangland (sadistic and kinda bisex).
But in season 4 Willow breaks some barriers and give herself the possibility to live an homosexual and happy relationship and in S7 she doesn't fight with her sexual desires and embraces her attraction for Kennedy ---> Can vampire!Willow would be different?
Other example= young Liam has daddy issues --> the result is a vampire, Angelus, with a major daddykink. (He's a father figure for Penn and Drusilla and he likes to be the patriarch in the Fanged four, teaching lessons to William and everything)
Let's suppose that Liam doesn't die so young. Let's give him the chance to work around his daddy issue as living person: the vampire-self would change? Angelus would mantain his daddykink?
Bonus question: human beings can change during life (They can, right?) but a vampire is fixed in the moment of death. He doesn't get an older, like Angel said in Chosen, he doesn't physically change, so ... the same thing goes also for his personality? 

kikimay: (Illyria's wish)
1) I loathe Angelus. I really do. He's an interesting and charismatic villain, I know, and DB does amazingly the bad boy routine, but. Angelus is a narcisistic jerk and I would love to beat him into the ground. He deserves it so much. And, really, I would pay to read a fanfic in which Buffy or Cordy or Spike or somebody makes Angelus his/her little bitch. I don't understand why he always ends on top - metaphorically and physically - of Buffy in the few Bangelus fics I had the guts to read. It's so unfair! He's basically Captain Hammer with a better pants and everybody believes he's a great leader or whatever. He's not. But sociopaths like him can be incredibly charismatic, so I guess it's an honest mistake.

2) I like Angel. And here comes the trouble for me: as Angel, I think the guy deserves redemption and happiness and I like his goofy moments, as Angelus, I want to smash his head on the ground. What can I do to? Because he's the same person, clearly. Is there somebody with a similar opinion?

3) Fred doesn't impress me much. She's supposed to be the "more like me" character, the regular girl, nerdy and normal, and I should relate with her very much. Instead I'm not so impressed and I don't understand how a girl like that survived in Pylea. She's supposed to be a great badass like Michonne on the Walking Dead, because she survived completly alone in that place. Instead she spends half of the time in distress, having handsome and yet dangerous men in love with her. I don't see how she's supposed to make a reliable character, at least for me. I very much prefer Buffy or Willow. More realistic, much more psychological complex.

4) I fucking love Illyria. She's incredibly cool. Stop.

5) And I adore Saunders from Dollhouse. Can I take a moment to phraise Amy Acker's skills as actress? She's amazing! She can characterize very different individuals making them completly believable and completly fascinanting. I think that the only character I'm indifferent to is actually Fred, while Illyria and every incarnation of Saunders (Whisky, the femme fatale, Clyde 2.0) is portrayed with enourmous talent. I love Saunders' character development in S2, I love her broken spirit, her scars and the rage that Acker puts in every scene she's in. I think it's a pity that we saw her character so little.
kikimay: (Buffy's glare)

I just read issue #15 of Angel&Faith: it's a very interesting issue and, somehow, it makes me think about the Dollhouse and the major themes in all the Whedonesque works
My advice about S9 of Buffy and, generally, the comics is: be patient. 
It's a long story and it's built issue after issue. If an author wants to explain a complex concept, he needs to work slowly. In the comic books character arcs can take years before get to the point. It's a very long run and the reader needs to be patient. 
I just have one condition, of course: that Whedon will be always involved in the comicverse. If he takes off, I'm also going to take off. 
Whedon is recently very busy with all the Avengers project - good for him! - and I honestly I don't see him take a long run with the Buffyverse in comics. Maybe he will give much more space to his fellow authors, but I personally consider canon only a work under his direct controll. Everyone is able to write a Buffyfic, otherwise.
That said, I find the latest Angel&Faith issue very interesting.
I think that one of the major theme in all the Whedon's production is the struggle between big corporations, big powers and tiny people, who need to fight and rebel in order to take back their agency and their freedom. 
Dollhouse is a big example of this concept: the Rossum corporation is like a Senior Partner who wants to achieve control of the dolls and single rebellious individuals - like Echo, Ballard, Adelle, Sierra, Victor ... - fight against this much bigger than them power, to take back their agency and identity. 
It's never about another big good power who fights back, it's always about single people.
In the S8, the only one who rebels against big powers fighting is Buffy, when she destroyed the Seed. It's an unpredictable act, powered only by emotion and against every kind of big plan or vision in the play. Buffy breaks the Seed and, immediately, the war is over and big powers need to take back their stuff and get the hell out of Earth. Suddently, all the energy powering Twangel is gone and Whistler finds himself like a sailor in the bottom of the Titanic.
Unpredictable act, single person.
Of course, there are consequences and reactions, as always in the Buffyverse, and S9 is kinda dealing with them.
Let's return with the big picture guy, here: Whistler, half good and half evil breed, is supposed to mantain the balance between the two big daddies of Earth (PTB and Senior Partners) and he's conveniently used by them to maintain a certain status quo.
But the status, as Doctor Horrible will said, is not quo! So Whistler decides to make the game a little better and to play another phase in evolution.
Again, it's all about big corporations/powers/people, who decide, at some point, to change the game.
The tiny people involved? We aren't giving them want they want, but what they need. And so, Whistler is giving Angel what he need - a reason to live, a new obsession - but he's also giving the Earth a new stage of evolution. Anybody asked for this? Nevermind and have faith in the big guy.
Angel's involved as fuck in this dirty busness because he's always been a "big picture guy". In Dollhouse, we saw that is dangerous to be like Topher, to serve a much bigger corporation who might want to take control of their people, but it's also dangerous to be like Caroline, to be an idealist who doesn't face the complex reality.
Angel, in a way, is idealist, just because he believes he knows better than everyone else, but he's also a huge tool like Topher, for both PTB and Senior Partners, because he's big picture guy, he's the hero in his own story.
He thinks about great stuff like: love forever and evolution and brave new world, but he doesn't listen the others, he doesn't take care of the single individual and doesn't listen to Buffy's opinions. He loves the concept of him and Buffy together, like he loves to be the hero in his own story, and, like Prometheus, who was guilty of hybris, he's always making the ball drop.
I believe that all his trust to Whistler and all his project as Twilight is a mistake and it's a big mistake because he clearly believes even now that he was trying to do a good thing. Taking back other people's agency, Buffy's agency, and decides for them.
It's obliviously a concept so fucked up I can't even, and it's obliviously another hard stone on the whole Bangel romance, since destiny and meant to be, in all the Whedon's works, are deeply creepy concepts. 
Angel's involved with his own hero projection, he can't actually see how the real Buffy doesn't fit in the major plan. Like Whistler already knew, she's unpredicable and she tends to screw up the whole "destiny" concept. 
Big flaw in an almost perfect plan. Sorry, Whistler!
As for Angel, the only hope for him is to open the eyes he always close in the crucial moments and to finally embrace the others power and agency as individuals and maybe find a side with Buffy, Spike and all the rebels against the great, mystic Dollhouse.


Ps: Did I said "big" many times, right?


kikimay: (Default)

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