kikimay: (How do you like my darkness now?)
Hi guys! Quick post because I have so many feelings.

1) Still searching for a beta.

2) I just changed my default icon and it's so amazing and badass looking.

3) Still thinking about writing a Spangel - Angel & Spike - Spuffel fic?

4) The cover art for Buffy season 10 issue 18 is THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER. I'm in awe.


Look! Buffy's a goddess! )


This cover fills me with hope, actually.

Maybe it's nothing and, I'm sure of it, it won't be Angel and Buffy's last encounter and maybe it's just a phase or something and soon things will be back again. Same old same old. But anyway, I really think it's an amazing piece of art and the symbolism makes me so happy.

Look at Buffy's face. Just look at her. She seems so happy, carefree and ... free, really. I haven't seen a look like that since Chosen and I'm the biggest fan of her final smile. No apologies.

She's looking at the sky, she's looking foward and she seems strong and calm and incredibly alive. (Also bonus points to Steve Morris because he nailed Buffy's physicality and sense of fashion. She doesn't have impressive boobs and she does have glorious hair and she's beautiful)

And, Jesus take the wheel, she's WALKING AWAY. She is! Look at Angel's face as he stands behind! Look at the cross he gave to her! *symbology boner* Is she finally moving on? Is she finally leaving her past behind and looking for something better?

You know, it's all speculation and we still know nothing about Angel/Buffy interaction and probably it won't happen anything (Considering this points I'm not putting this under spoiler) but it's just SO ICONIC.

Angel was the one walking away. Always. The one deciding, the one coming back and going to LA and having full agency on his choices. And I'm always angry because it's an issue that was never fully addressed. While we all agree that S6 Spuffy was unhealthy and Riley was a moron, Angel hurt her in a most subtle and everlasting ways. She imprinted on him and it was a neverending abandonament and trauma issue. He was Hank all over again.

And she always dealt and she always waited for him to come back. Well, I just love to see Buffy taking back her agency and deciding on her own and Angel being the one who has to deal, finally. I just love to see her leaving him behind, because she deserves so much more.

And, mind you, I'm telling this shipping preferences aside. I would actually love to see Buffy and Angel becoming really friends and maybe working on their relationship in the future. I actually ship Spuffel and I lovelovelovelovelove Angel and Spike so much, these two vampire dorks with issues are in my heart and I will always love (and ship) them.

It's just that Buffy is my homegirl and if she overcomes trauma and old demons it's such a glorious day.





kikimay: (Buffy/Angel darkness)
Long day. I just need to share something (Sharing something on LJ apparently relaxes me or just take away the anxiety for a while) And since I'm too tired to do anything and I don't have anything ready I need to use a Bangel fic I translated a while ago. I hope it works and you will read it even if it's Bangel? I liked to explore Buffy's feelings for Angel and the concept of doomed romance. So much angst here. Plus there's some Buffy/Faith implied.

Pairings: Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Faith implied
Warnings: Major character death. Massive angst.
Summary: Angel finally gets the Shanshu and the pesky mortality. Buffy takes care of him.


Unbetaed. Suggestions and corrections are always welcome.



Forever )
kikimay: (Brain nerve and bounding heart)
Good evening guys! I'm here for another post of the meme, but first I want to share this article: Dante, Redemption, and the Last episode of "True Detective" I wasn't the only one who thought about Dante watching TD.

Although not everything in the article is correct. For example, lust and pride aren't the "big sins" for Dante. Lust, in fact, is a minor sin. The worst sins are betrayal and hybris (Lucifer becomes a monster and falls into the Earth because he wanted to take God's place. Also the chapter with Ulysses is very meaningful on that matter) In Dante's thelogical point of view Marty would be an "incontinent", somebody who submits his human will to material urges. Anyway it's an interesting article to read.


Day 1: Favorite Season
Day 2: Favorite Episode
Day 3: Favorite Song Used In An Episode
Day 4: Favorite Female Character
Day 5: Least Favorite Female Character
Day 6: Favorite Male Character
Day 7: Least Favorite Male Character
Day 8: Favorite Friendship
Day 9: Favorite Romance
Day 10: Least Favorite Season
Day 11: Least Favorite Romance
Day 12: Least Favorite Episode
Day 13: Favorite Potential Slayer
Day 14: Favorite Female Villain
Day 15: Favorite Male Villain
Day 16: Episode You Like That Everyone Else Hates
Day 17: Character You Relate To The Most
Day 18: Character Who Didn’t Get Enough Screen Time
Day 19: Character You Like That Everyone Else Hates
Day 20: Best Spike-centric Episode
Day 21: Best Willow-centric Episode
Day 22: Best Xander-centric Episode
Day 23: Two Characters You Wanted To Get Together That Never Did
Day 24: Hottest scene
Day 25: Favorite Buffyverse Saying
Day 26: Favorite Scooby Moment
Day 27: Cutest Moment
Day 28: Character You Love To Hate
Day 29: Episode You Hate That Everyone Else Loves
Day 30: What You Think Made Buffy So Great

I don't know if everybody else hates these )

kikimay: (Good face)
Second day of the meme. I was thinking to do this post tomorrow *already slipping* But I love you guys and I love to read your thoughts about BtVS.

But first of all let me tell you about me crying for tv-shows. I don't know if anyone in my f-list is watching True Detective. Today I saw the last episode of this season and I cried. I found it so beautiful and moving. The final scene reminded me a verse from The Divine Comedy. Amazing. Plus, I also watched the final episode of Looking (first season, still on HBO) and I found it touching and also beautiful.
Basically I cry a lot for stuff I like. I'm a crybaby when it comes to touching stories. And that brings me to my next topic.


Day 1: Favorite Season
Day 2: Favorite Episode
Day 3: Favorite Song Used In An Episode
Day 4: Favorite Female Character
Day 5: Least Favorite Female Character
Day 6: Favorite Male Character
Day 7: Least Favorite Male Character
Day 8: Favorite Friendship
Day 9: Favorite Romance
Day 10: Least Favorite Season
Day 11: Least Favorite Romance
Day 12: Least Favorite Episode
Day 13: Favorite Potential Slayer
Day 14: Favorite Female Villain
Day 15: Favorite Male Villain
Day 16: Episode You Like That Everyone Else Hates
Day 17: Character You Relate To The Most
Day 18: Character Who Didn’t Get Enough Screen Time
Day 19: Character You Like That Everyone Else Hates
Day 20: Best Spike-centric Episode
Day 21: Best Willow-centric Episode
Day 22: Best Xander-centric Episode
Day 23: Two Characters You Wanted To Get Together That Never Did
Day 24: Hottest scene
Day 25: Favorite Buffyverse Saying
Day 26: Favorite Scooby Moment
Day 27: Cutest Moment
Day 28: Character You Love To Hate
Day 29: Episode You Hate That Everyone Else Loves
Day 30: What You Think Made Buffy So Great

Favourite episode )
kikimay: (Buffy/Angel darkness)
Here I'm posting the new little story both in English and in Italian.





I'll be Seeing you

She still sees him. After battles, apocalypses and little changes that makes the world spin around once more.
Sometimes she can even see him in the eyes of her son or in the smile of Dawn’s twins which is almost ridiculous because they aren’t even related by blood. But forever was the point, after all.
He’s beautiful and sad and lonely. Sometimes she just wants to stroke his hair and make him remember about all those sweet moments they shared and make him feel just the tenderness and the peace.
She acts like a mother with him. Like a big sister or a friend. And she loves him very much. Like a child and like a lover.
Because forever was the whole point and it still is - even when she closes the door and says goodbye. “I’ll be seeing you,” she whispers.
And she still does.



~~~~~~~~

Lo vede ancora. Dopo le battaglie, le apocalissi e i piccoli cambiamenti che permettono al mondo di girare su se stesso.
Qualche volta lo vede persino negli occhi di suo figlio, nel sorriso delle gemelle di Dawn, cosa quasi ridicola perché non sono vincolati da alcun legame di sangue. Ma per sempre era il punto della situazione, dopotutto.
Angel è bellissimo e triste e solo. A volte vorrebbe soltanto carezzargli i capelli e fargli ritornare alla mente tutti i momenti di dolcezza che hanno condiviso, fargli sentire la tenerezza e la pace.
Si comporta come una madre nei suoi confronti. Come una sorella maggiore ed un'amica. E lo ama, da morire. Come una bambina, come un'amante.
Perché, che il loro legame durasse per sempre, era il punto della situazione e ancora lo è, anche quando lei chiude la porta e lo saluta. “Ti rivedrò,” sussurra.
E mantiene la promessa.

kikimay: (Claire. Just built that way)


... For the Comment!Ficathon that takes place in [livejournal.com profile] tiny_white_hats journal. (Check it out!)

I hope I didn't destroy forever the English grammar. It's a lovely language and I like to learn it everyday a little bit more. I tried to write without the help of a beta because I had an idea.

HERE you can find the little one-shot. It's inspired by Billie Holiday and it's Bangel. Hope you like it.

kikimay: (Buffy/Angel darkness)


I can post the bangel fic I was talking about.
I need to than [livejournal.com profile] rahirah  for her precious help as beta: I hope I took properly all your suggestions.
And I also need to add a breif summary and disclaimer and, you know, the usual stuff.

Disclaimer
I don't own Buffy or Angel or anything created by Joss. I just had an idea and I wrote a fanfic.

Pairing: Buffy/Angel
Genre: Angst, dark, erotic. This is not a romantic fic.
Warning: mentions of rape and torture. Some kind of sex scene.
Summary: In Season Two Angelus won and everything changed forever.
Notes: there are some ancient Greek words in the text. Basically because I really like them and I was inspired by the classical concept of justice (Nemesis) which is about retribuition and vegeance and I was fascinated by the concept of nemesis in opposition to forgiveness.
There are also: kryos, which means cold, elpis = hope, eros = the physical love and exodos = the  exit, the escape to something.

Okay, here we are.
I noticed that LJ keep cutting letters. Like I write "sunny" and it becomes "sunn". I don't know why

Shanshu )




kikimay: (Buffy/Angel darkness)
[livejournal.com profile] red_satin_doll at More thoughts about "Anne": Buffy's depression arc (2/?) makes some interesting considerations about Buffy and her depression arc. Read it, it's great!
And it makes me think about something I didn't quite focused before.
I've always believed in the progression of Buffy's illness, very realistic because that's what happens in RL. Buffy gradually slips into depression and she slips into depression because she was already connected with that kind of illness. She was already the girl that stands alone watching her lover go and doesn't do anything, she's already the girl who feel detached and cold inside when the pain is unbareable. And that brings me to Buffy's nature as Slayer: a Slayer needs to fight to survive, because every night can be the last, and a Slayer can develop a death wish.
It's an incredibly powerful meta for depression - having a death wish - and Buffy actually spoke about this desire with Angel ("When you kiss me I wanna die") In her emotional turmoil, Buffy choses the most dangerous lover, the only one who can actually grant her a death wish. Xander, his human counterpart in S2, can't do it.
There is an incredible appetite for death in all the Buffy/Angel romance (Their settings, their dialogues, their decisions) and Buffy is in love with this sort of thing. Her hatred for her life is almost embodied by Angelus deathly perfection. And when she faces the trauma of Angel's death, she leaves town and stops to be the Slayer (to be herself).
And depression is actually a lot about apathy and desire to stop struggling, to desist in the fight for life.
Fun fact about the word desist: it's a latin word and it literally means "cease to exist". When you stop fighting (and I mean it metaphorically) you cease to exist. You die.
Later, in S6, when the depression isn't anymore about sweet kisses besides the tombstone, but actually depression portrayed in a more realistic way, Buffy choses Spike as her partner - once again a vampire and a killer. Except that, this time, I don't think he makes her want to die. Struggling with him, she can find the streight to struggle with her life again and understand how she can overcome her death wish.


kikimay: (Brain nerve and bounding heart)
Stil rewatching S3 in random order, like always, because I'm a rebel (?)
Some quick considerations:

- I'm actually rewatching all the bits about Faith and Faith and Buffy, which is kinda new for me, since I disliked Faith in as a first time viewer of the show. I'm intrigued by her relationship with Buffy. (I also posted my only Buffy/Faith fic today, just to express my intriguing-y!) Faith's connection with Angel is much more on sponsoring and understanding each other. I don't think they have a sexual or romantic chemistry, I don't see that coming, even if many scenes in S3 are played like some Buffy-Angel-Faith love triangle. I'm mostly for Buffy & Faith as romantic pairing. I also think they would be a sexier that Angel/Faith.

- The Bangel still bothers me. He leaves her, than she comes back, than she takes a break, than he leaves her ... ouch.
Angel's characterization is inconsistent for all the season and I'm pissed off because he could have worked their traumas, but they went all melodrama and stuff, so they didn't resolve a fucking thing about their history together.
Still, I adore the final goodbye in Graduation day, when he disappears in the fog. Let me tell you about my FEELS. It's one of the most beautiful, heartbreaking images in BtVS and, watching it, I remembered the final scene from Some Assembly Required, when they walked together as a couple, for the first time. Graduation day's silent goodbye was the perfect ending for their story, the Chosen scene seems more stupid after rewatching this beautiful, sad goodbye to first love and adolescence.
Such an iconic, powerful scene. I felt for Buffy once more.

- Buffy's hair gets better after Amends. Yeah, in Amends she had this weird cut, but in the second half of the Season her hair are similar to S4 and she looks good. (But, best hair of the Season goes to Eliza Dushku as Faith, if you don't consider her hair in the third episode)

- The Zeppo is very, very funny. My favourite funny episode is Pangs, but The Zeppo is just great.
kikimay: (Brain nerve and bounding heart)


The first time I watched season 3, I was fourteen and I remember being all romantic and mellow about Angel's return and generally fascinated by the dark atmosphere of the season. As an adult woman (It seems really serious if you said it like that, isn't it?) I'm mostly annoyed by Angel and Buffy's interactions, I don't think that Season 3 is really dark, except for the parts about Faith and murder and the interesting relation between political power (The Mayor) and Evil. Also I can't deal with SMG's hair.
Okay, let's go with my random thoughts!

Firstly I rewatched Anne, which is a great season premiere that summarize perfectly Season Nine's plot (Snap)
- I liked Willow from the first sequence to the end and I loved Oz's return in school.
- Cordelia and Xander are funny together. I like Charisma Carpenter's talent as comedian, I think she was at her best in BtVS and in the first two seasons of AtS, then her character's storyline got wasted with Angel's romance and evil babybump.
- Everytime Buffy appears on scene there's a angsty music in the background. No good.
- How much creepy is her dream about Angel? I mean, in her dream Angel says that he will never go away, even if she kills him.
That's not romantic. One thing is saying that he will never go away even if he dies (because love is stronger than death, because you can always preserve your memories of beloved people ...) a completly other thing is saying: you can hit me, you can call the police, I'll never leave the house. This isn't fair! Dreamy-stalking Angel, you're mental, you know?
- But the dream with stalking!Angel is really important to understand Buffy's mindset and her trauma after Season Two.
- Lily is a nice character. She's helpless and totally incapable of being herself and that's help Buffy dealing with her personal trouble and finding once again her identity. Season Nine your going to reboot a character's arc.
- Buffy's hair. CAN'T DEAL.
- Joyce blaming Giles. I think it's a normal, comprensible reaction. I don't she's right at all, I don't think she's also right in saying that the ball was dropped suddently, I think she's human and she makes mistakes which is normal.
- Those hopeless people in Angel's credits are from this episode!
- Anne is a good name.

Dead man's party
- Still dealing with SMG's hair in this season. Still unable to.
- Buffy's zombies aren't creepy as The Walking Dead's zombies. Still, ZOMBIES! >O<
- I have major issues with Xander's judgemental self. God, I hate him when he's all in blaming Buffy's mood. I can't believe he's her streight. Giles can be seen as Buffy's streight. Spike, in Touched. But Xander?! I'm sorry, I don't see him as supportive at all.
- Cordelia was supportive in her own way. While Willow was hurt and self-involved, Cordelia was the one saying: "Let's put ourselves in Buffy's shoes". Of course, she didn't fit at all in those boots, but she tried and it was a funny exchange.
- Another dream with Angel. In some way he's also a shadow-self of Buffy.


Then I jumped to Band Candy, because I was unable to take more angsty stuff and I'm a caotic watcher.
- Willow and Xander's romance makes me think that Willow is bisexual.
- Buffy's incredibly busy. Her mother, watcher and training, school, tests, Angel. She's more busy than an adult and she totally needs some quality time just for herself (Which she spends tending to her undead, back from hell non-boyfriend) I can't help but thinking that in Anne she was less stressed.
- Joyce and Buffy aren't able to comunicate properly. Joyce's still making the same mistakes, not understanding how strong and indipendent Buffy is and Buffy is unable to share her feelings and emotions, dealing with her trouble's alone. Even her comunication with Angel is unconsistent: he shift from worried fatherly figure (Which is so inadeguate) to man still in love with her. Mixed signals, repression and silence. Not good at all. Bangel in S3 is pure stillness and angsty angst.
- Angel is pretty much the damsel in distress of the season, which isn't so bad. He's cute when he faints.
- I always laugh at Angel's tai-chi sequence. Can't help it, really, I laughed even when I was fourteen! It's just ... he's so serious and cool and kinda Matrix style (?) when he does that. LOL.
- Great comic relief with Giles as Ripper, teenage Snyder and Ethan Rayne. And the chocolate, of course.
- Joyce's hair are much better than Buffy's.

kikimay: (Buffy hairporn)


Necessary premise: I'm not Bangel, I will not phraise Bangel or misinterpret every panel or issue just to prove that Buffy and Angel are soulmates and such. (I will not do the same for Spuffy, and I'm a Spuffy-shipper! I just do it with Spangel, 'cause is so fun!Not everyone thinks that the only and truest love of Buffy's life is Angel. Get over it.
At the same time, I'll try not to bash bangel, because it's rude. Even if it's really hard after Season Eight.

Bonus point: toughts on characters' development.

S8 killed the Bangel? )


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