This morning I woke up with headache and, like always when it happens, I'm still having it. So I didn't do anything productive and I vomited words of broken hearted fangirl on SlayAlive about Angel and Spike. Because after the whole Twangel mess is just so hard
to still love Angel. Or maybe - to be more precise - it's so hard to love the tale
of Angel, the author's choices about him.
After the issue #20 of Angel and Faith I'm disappointed about the state of comics. And I was hopeful!girl for all S9. Even when that whole robo!Buffy/false pregnancy thing happened. (Which requires a lot of faith)
But, really, I can't bare the Angel fanboy routine anymore. I can't bare that there are no consequences in the portrayal of Angel and I can't bare that the dynamic between Spike and him didn't change.
I firmly think that life changes dynamics. You can maybe be born with that alpha-male crap thing (And I hate this definition) but then things happen and relationship get messy and you basically change and grow and shift your point of view. You live in a complex world, not in a safe shell. Instead, in A&F #20, we have S5 Spike and Angel comedy rebound. Like nothing had happened. And it's incredible because, for once, Angel could have view Spike as wiser than him. But no. Dynamics in the comics, apparently, are always the same.
And I read BtVS "The Watcher" issue and I find Buffy so OOC and inconsistent I can't even deal with that. So, yes, I blame it on the headache.
Meanwhile, I'm also reading something beautiful that breaks my heart in tiny little pieces.
Callie_Stephanides, here her AO3 page
, is writing one of the best Thunderfrost I've ever read. (And I hope she eventually does the translation so the world can read it) It's a very Loki-centric story and it really goes deep into Loki's psychology and the core of his destructive and hateful behavior. Like in the original myth, Loki is the epithome of the rejected, the unwanted and the stranger. He doesn't share all the perfect Aesir traits and he's much weaker than Thor (or even Sif, for the matter) and he's so different in his needs from his Aesir family. It's really painful to read a story like that because of Loki pain all over the place and, generally, the pain that I think anyone who isn't perfect, always winning and always accepted by others can understand. Loki's tale in the Thor
movie is maybe an old tale of internalized racism and hate. (Which is also interesting because, you know, a blockbuster - not so much for the deepest thoughts)
I'm not generally attracted to psycho characters but I can't help to love Loki more. Black little kitty of disfunction. I hope to find more good fanfics about him (and Thor, because I also love Thor). If you know some title or wrote something about the drama Norse bros, let me know.
I would also write more about him. Except that I apparently dream about a Loki fanfic and then forgot everything about the dream. Scumbag brain is scumbag.